Hey, Love, This Is The Fate You've Carved On Me

Today's the first day of classes, and I definitely have a case of the first-day jitters. I always obsessively worry that I'm going to the wrong class or that I have the time wrong, no matter how many times I double check. I'm actually very excited about all my classes this semester. I started reading one of my French books, Aucassin et Nicolette, already because I saw a new musical (in workshop form) based on the story. Then, I realized how nerdy that was, but I didn't really care because I was enjoying it too much.

I had a really awkward experience yesterday, where I was in a close vicinity to both S and TM for a prolonged period of time. I was working at the Theta booth at the Activities Fair, and both TM and S were wandering around the fair. I managed to avoid both of them until the very end, when TM spotted me and came over to the booth, but I made a quick escape because I had to go to work. I really just don't know how to tell him that I don't want to hook up again. Actually, I just want to avoid the male gender for awhile. I haven't really taken enough time for just myself lately. It's time to focus on school, voice, writing, and my friends.

After TM and I hooked up (for clarification, I would like to say that there was no sex, but there was a lot of nudity), I really wanted to talk to my sister, and then I realized that she's in Europe, and I can't call her. It made me really sad, so I went to the park, called Caitlin, and cried to her over the phone for awhile. I didn't realize how much I would miss Jules until that day, and I'm so glad that I have friends (both at home and at school) that can make me feel so much better about everything. I'm so grateful to have friends like these; not every girl is so lucky as to have friends that are understanding, loving, and accepting, not to mention hilarious.

A note on casual sex:
For a long time, I thought that only promiscuous and morally unstable people would ever consider having casual sex, but lately my views have been changing. I believe that sex outside of a relationship is fine, even healthy sometimes, if you have a really strong sexual connection or chemistry with someone. When you're just having sex with the next available person, though, I think that it can cause a lot of emotional damage on both sides, especially if the sexual relationship isn't based around mutual respect.