So Tell Me Darling, True; What Am I To You?

Saturday night was the second week of the themed party extravaganzas! It was a Random party, which turned out to be incredibly...random. There was croquet, cake-baking, line-dancing, Dr. Horrible, and a group sing. S and his friend D came to the party, which was fun. I believe that the next party theme will be SPIES!

Because it was F's last weekend here, we convinced her to come skinny-dipping with us at 1 in the morning. We even got C to jump in with only her swimsuit bottoms, which I thought would never happen! Skinny-dipping is one of those things that makes me realize how comfortable I am with my friends and how much I trust them.


I'm still listening to Norah Jones obsessively. In particular, it's the first three songs off "Feels Like Home". I'm not sure why I'm so into these songs right now, but they're fun to drive to, and I've been doing a lot of driving lately.

C and I had the most EPIC movie marathon last week! We started with The Mummy 3 (bad movie, fantastic eye candy and costumes), continued with The Three Musketeers (Disney version), and 2 episodes of Castle. Then, we went to bed, slept in until noon and got up for a matinee of Star Trek (sci-fi bromance!). We came home and finished off the marathon with Wild Wild West. In addition to all this, we made the most delicious chicken and dumplings ever and some pear-strawberry cookies, most of which we consumed very quickly. It was great getting to spend some quality time with C; most of the time it's J, C, and I, and they tend to go off into their own little world where I'm not quite included.

Forgive Me, Pretty Baby, But I Always Take the Long Way Home

A note on fiestas: If you want to have a truly spectacular fiesta, you must always ask Señor Funtimes to be your host. And you must always serve margaritas and tequila sunrises and listen to mariachi music until you get tipsy enough to dance to Britney Spears, Katy Perry, and ABBA with your girlfriends. If you need to find Señor Funtimes, he is the dashing and lecherous Mexican in the poncho and fake moustache.

A short explanation on the above note: my friends and I have decided to have a themed party every week. We put a bunch of themes into a hat, and plan to randomly choose a theme for each week. Next week's party is RANDOM! Which means everyone wears a random costume, and we'll probably end up creating mixed drinks out of random ingredients. Señor Funtimes may make another appearance.


In other news, I'm not really sure what to do about this whole TM thing. It was a lot of fun at first, having a cute boy call and text me all the time. I mean, a fun, sexy flirtation is exactly what I'm looking for, but then it turned into something else. It suddenly got a lot more involved than I ever intended it to be, and he was texting me at least fifteen times a day; it was flattering, until he got the attitude that I had to be accountable for the times when I wasn't texting him back right away. He never said it outright, but he would get a little whiny, almost petulant, when I didn't have time to text him back within five or ten minutes. I've been feeling a little smothered lately, and he's not even on the same side of the country as I am! I can't stand it when guys think that every spare moment I have should be devoted to them; I feel like it's a warning sign of someone who's much too controlling or insecure. I asked TM to back off a little, and he has. I feel like this, at least, is a hopeful sign, although I'm becoming less convinced that I want to try dating him again next year. It's still up in the air; I'm not about to make any commitments at this point. I've realized, though, that I'm not really commitment-phobic; I think it's just my instincts telling me when a guy's not right for me.

I've been driving a lot lately, listening to music and being alone with my thoughts. I find that it helps me sort things out in my head, where previously I had to talk them all out with someone else. It's not that I don't talk to my friends about my dilemmas anymore, by any means, but it does let me come to my own conclusions before I listen to anyone else's. One of my biggest weaknesses is that I tend to adopt other people's opinions as my own because I don't trust myself to be right or to feel the way I should about things.

I've also been watching a lot of Josh Groban live concerts. I have two on dvd, and I've been watching the one that airs on PBS...it is bad that I prefer this to a real and interested (albeit geographically distant)boy?

A New Favorite Poem

Sex Without Love


How do they do it, the ones who make love
without love? Beautiful as dancers,
gliding over each other like ice-skaters
over the ice, fingers hooked
inside each other's bodies, faces
red as steak, wine, wet as the
children at birth whose mothers are going to
give them away. How do they come to the
come to the come to the God come to the
still waters, and not love
the one who came there with them, light
rising slowly as steam off their joined
skin? These are the true religious,
the purists, the pros, the ones who will not
accept a false Messiah, love the
priest instead of the God. They do not
mistake the lover for their own pleasure,
they are like great runners: they know they are alone
with the road surface, the cold, the wind,
the fit of their shoes, their over-all cardio-
vascular health--just factors, like the partner
in the bed, and not the truth, which is the
single body alone in the universe
against its own best time.

Sharon Olds