Shoes

Last night, after getting home at midnight, I killed my mild insomnia by uploading all of the pictures from my camera onto my computer. In doing so, I came across some pictures of a pair of shoes I bought last summer. I thought I'd post them here because they ARE my personality.

In other news, I heard from TM again, and we talked about my sister being sort-of bisexual, but not really, threesomes, and possessiveness. Then he told me again that I should feel free to call anytime, even if it's late.

In Detail

Okay, here is my list from the previous post, in more detail.

1. Got a house
It is an adorable little house, about 10 minutes away from campus. I have my own bedroom and a real kitchen! My two future housemates and I took possession the day before I left school, and I spent most of that day moving my stuff into the house (and studying for my Chem final, of course). I really can't wait to live there with M and C; we're going to have a great time, as evidenced by our lingerie and mojito parties this past semester!

2. Broke up with S
This is probably the least fun event on my list. I mean, we all knew that S and I were breaking up, but it was sad (although probably overdue) when it actually happened. A large part of me is still pretending that we'll get back together at the beginning of next semester. I'm letting myself believe this until I get over him. We decided that we're going to hang out a couple times as friends this summer, but I'm giving myself at least a month before I get in contact with him. He can call/text/facebook me if he wants, but I refuse to initiate anything before July.

3. Went to LA
We did the entire drive in one day (17 hellish hours!) starting at 2am and ending at 7 pm. We spent the next day sleeping, laying by the pool, and getting our nails done. Then we went to Tiger Heat, Dot's favorite gay club, which was ridiculous and awesome! Friday, we hung out at Venice Beach and 3rd Street. On Saturday, we headed up to Dot's beach house and lay around on the beach in the sun. Sunday, we went to a Dodgers game, where I ate my first Dodgerdog and sat in the sun for several hours, and I flew home on Monday morning.

4. Went to a gay club in Hollywood
It was called Tiger Heat, and it was a good time. Despite the fact that it was a gay club, I danced with 4 or 5 guys and kissed two of them. The first was a really good kisser, but the second was definitely not. The male dancers (read: strippers) were really attractive, even if they don't, sadly, play for my team.

5. Lay on the beach
Self-explanatory. I used spf 50 sunscreen, so I didn't burn, which is still a little surprising. Laying in the sun is very relaxing.

6. Came home
I didn't panic on the plane! Hooray!

7. Played insane amounts of croquet
My family is awesome. Period.

8. Got a phone call from TM
This surprised me because I figured he'd text or facebook me, if anything. I guess he wants to show me that he's really trying hard. He told me to call him anytime. I feel like I should call him soon, but I don't know if I'm ready to consider a new boy yet. I mean, it's nice knowing that he wants me; I appreciate the ego boost. It's just that I'm not really over S yet. Also, I don't really like phones.

Summertime!

It has been awhile since I've updated. A short list of things I've done lately:

1. Got a house
2. Broke up with S
3. Went to LA
4. Went to a gay club in LA
5. Lay on the beach
6. Came home
7. Played insane amounts of croquet
8. Got a phone call from TM

More details to come.

Summer of '69

It is official: Summer of '69 is my go-to song for feeling happier. I was having an overwhelmed moment earlier this evening when I realized that I have two papers due in the next twenty-four hours (one is TURNED IN NOW!), but this song made me smile again. That, and the silent dance party that was held in the library at midnight.

I have had three cups of coffee in the past two hours. I will not sleep tonight. I do like all-nighters every once in a while.


A good quote from our quote book: "I am never, ever going to have sex with a wombat on film."

A Note on Endings

It's been a while since I've posted. I guess I've been mentally processing a lot of stuff, as well as getting ready for finals (and seeing Spamalot!). I should probably start off with the news that's been on my mind the most lately; S and I decided to break up at the end of the semester. He's afraid that we're in this relationship for the sake of being in a relationship, and he thinks that this summer should be a "test" for our relationship. If he still wants to be with me when we get back next fall, we can get back together, he said. I really hope he realizes that I don't wait around for boys who break up with me. TM learned this the hard way. It's been hard, being in a relationship with an expiration date, especially since I've realized that I'm not getting everything I need from S. He's a great guy, but I need someone who will open up emotionally to me and who is willing to include me in his life. With S, I'm starting to feel like we're friends with benefits. Not even close friends with benefits. It's strange because we're so comfortable together physically, but so awkward when we actually have to talk to each other. If we do end up getting back together, there are a lot of things we'll need to work on. I was really sad about breaking up when he first brought it up, but I've been warming up to the idea since then. We both deserve to be in relationships with someone we're sure we want to be with. I would rather be in no relationship than one that isn't working for both of us.

A lot of other things have been going on in my life, too. It's the end of my sophomore year, and I can't believe I'm halfway done with college! Unfortunately, this also means that it's finals time, so I've been writing papers and studying like crazy. I had my voice juries yesterday, which didn't go as well as I wished, but not as badly as I thought they would. I also participated in beer mile, which is where a bunch of drunk college kids run a mile naked. I was one of those drunk college kids, and it was a very freeing experience. Last weekend, I drove three hours to stay at M's house and go see Spamalot with her. It was a FABULOUS show! The singing, acting, and costumes were great, and the story was very, very silly. Getting away was also really good for me because it let me find a new perspective on the S situation. I'll admit that I did spend a good part of Friday in M's guest bedroom crying to my mom over the phone. In my defense, I find endings to be really sad, and I was really tired from staying up almost all night.

I'm really excited to see Sistadre! It feels like it's been ages, and I've really missed her these past couple weeks. It'll be fun to have her visit me at school and meet all the people I've told her about!

New BFF?

I am having the most interesting conversation with TM. It is a conversation I never thought I'd have. So, I started chatting with him because his status was "TM is in a peculiar mood", and I wanted to know why. We were in the middle of a fairly normal conversation, when he goes into this:

TM: oh, btw.(long pause) i realize now the error in my ways from the beginning of the year. i should have definitely dated u longer and not freaked out b/c it was the beginning of the year
Me: it's okay...I freaked out a little too, because I wasn't really sure what I wanted at that point, but it's nice to hear. thanks.
TM: fo sho. i felt like i was in the same place as well which is nice to hear
Me: yeah. we also failed at communicating
TM: more like i dropped the ball. well, i gotta go to sig but i'd love to keep texting u if its not too much trouble...


I think it's kind of sweet that he apologized, and it's an interesting feeling, being the one that got away. TM then proceeded to make some really insightful comments about communication and relationships, which really surprised me, given how messily our little fling ended. I would also like to note that I don't really consider TM and I to have "dated", as he puts it. I think of it more as a glorified hook-up.

Museum of Sensuality and Sexual Experience

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Can I Blame It On Hormones?

I have been in incredibly weird places emotionally this week. First off, I've been very stressed out due to this Shakespeare scene project which is, thankfully, over. Coming in as a close second as a stressor: S hasn't even really kissed me or been alone with me in two weeks. Honestly, I'm not usually a clingy girl; I don't want to spend every minute of every day with a boy because I have my own life and my own friends, but two weeks is a little much for me. I'm afraid that, after two glasses of wine last night, I was a little cranky with S when I met up with him at the ZOMBIE ROCK OPERA. Yes, I went to a student-written zombie rock opera, and no, it wasn't amazing, but it was vastly entertaining. And AC is the most beautiful man I have ever set eyes on (sorry S).

So, yeah. Weird emotional places. Highs and lows. Maybe overreacting. Zombie musicals.