I had the weirdest dream ever, and I'm not kidding. Last night, I dreamed that everyone thought that I was this crazy serial killer called The Black Widow who lured college boys up to her dorm room by leaving them personalized messages on pennies, had sex with them multiple times, and murdered them. You know what the funniest part was? I WAS THE BLACK WIDOW. But my diabolical pattern was subverted by a guy who didn't even want to make out with me, let alone sleep with me. Obviously, I couldn't murder him, then, which actually turned out to be a very good thing because my roommate had suspected me of being the serial killer, and when the boy walked out of my room alive and kicking, she changed her mind.
Analyze away, Freud.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Something In The Water?
Is it just me, or has the atmosphere been noticeably hot and heavy lately? I'm not talking about the weather; T's got a new boy, I've got a new boy, and I was sexiled by my roommate for the first time last night. Okay, so it's not actually being sexiled because we actually have separate rooms, but these walls are paper thin, let me tell you. I spent most of the night hanging out in the chapter room or A's room, and when I got back to my room at 1:15am, I put on my ipod because I realized that the menu track of their dvd was replaying for the 10th time, and they were clearly not watching the movie anymore.
In the past few days, I've been a little frustrated because I don't know where I stand with S. At Casino Night, something felt off and a little weird when I was talking to him, but I was standing with a group of friends later, and S came over, tucked my hand under his arm, and asked if he could steal me away for a little bit. We went and took a photo together at the photo station; it actually took a lot of tries to get a good photo because I was always making an awkward face when the picture was taken. I felt pretty good about things after that, and we watched a movie together yesterday, but there was no more kissing, and I'm a little paranoid that he doesn't like kissing me, especially after the incident with K.
To my gentle readers, I realize that this has become more of a dating blog than an awkward-moments-of-my-life blog, but many of my awkward interactions are with boys I like/am dating or are like the above sexile story.
In other NON-BOY-RELATED NEWS:
I auditioned for one of the a capella groups yesterday, but didn't get a spot. I was pretty bummed because there were only 7 or 8 girls who auditioned, but I think I'll be okay. I'll probably keep auditioning until I get in or until I graduate.
In the past few days, I've been a little frustrated because I don't know where I stand with S. At Casino Night, something felt off and a little weird when I was talking to him, but I was standing with a group of friends later, and S came over, tucked my hand under his arm, and asked if he could steal me away for a little bit. We went and took a photo together at the photo station; it actually took a lot of tries to get a good photo because I was always making an awkward face when the picture was taken. I felt pretty good about things after that, and we watched a movie together yesterday, but there was no more kissing, and I'm a little paranoid that he doesn't like kissing me, especially after the incident with K.
To my gentle readers, I realize that this has become more of a dating blog than an awkward-moments-of-my-life blog, but many of my awkward interactions are with boys I like/am dating or are like the above sexile story.
In other NON-BOY-RELATED NEWS:
I auditioned for one of the a capella groups yesterday, but didn't get a spot. I was pretty bummed because there were only 7 or 8 girls who auditioned, but I think I'll be okay. I'll probably keep auditioning until I get in or until I graduate.
Friday, February 20, 2009
A Conversation About Nudity
Me: I almost lost at strip poker once.
Ellie: How do you lose at strip poker?
Me: Well, you end up with no...oh. Good point.
Commence hysterical laughter...
Ellie: How do you lose at strip poker?
Me: Well, you end up with no...oh. Good point.
Commence hysterical laughter...
Get Thee To A Nunnery!
Yes, I'm up late again, writing another paper. This one's for my Shakespeare class, and it's on Ophelia's identity as a sexual being. It's actually a really interesting paper to write, and it's going pretty fast, considering I've taken several half-hour breaks since I sat down to write. I had caffeine about an hour ago, so I'll probably be up for a while longer, even if I finish this paper soon. I'm really glad I can write papers again and actually enjoy the intellectual stimulation; last semester, it felt like I was running headfirst into a concrete wall every time I tried to write.
Speaking of running into concrete walls, that's what my voice lesson today felt like. There was this one turn that my voice teacher was trying to get me to sing, but my brain just couldn't wrap itself around the notes, so it never came out right. We talked at the end of the lesson about how I can't be afraid or hold back because I have such a powerful sound that it would be silly to not let it out.
I'll update on S later, but suffice it to say that I'm very happy with the way things are going so far.
Speaking of running into concrete walls, that's what my voice lesson today felt like. There was this one turn that my voice teacher was trying to get me to sing, but my brain just couldn't wrap itself around the notes, so it never came out right. We talked at the end of the lesson about how I can't be afraid or hold back because I have such a powerful sound that it would be silly to not let it out.
I'll update on S later, but suffice it to say that I'm very happy with the way things are going so far.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Most Badass Bunny Ever
Okay, I found this while stalking someone on facebook. This has to be the most hilarious video I've seen since the Pronking Springboks. Please watch it now.
Let's Get Rich And Give Everybody Nice Sweaters
Still obsessed with "The Chain" by Ingrid Michaelson. I would also like to note that almost every single song on my "Top 25 Most Played" list is by 10,000 Maniacs, Vanessa Carlton, Colbie Caillat, and Sara Bareilles, with a few guest spots by Norah Jones, Lyle Lovett, and Michael Buble. When I discover music I like, I tend to listen to it over and over again until I move on to something new. I've listened to "Chain Song" at least 20 times since yesterday afternoon.
In other news, it's sunny here! Not warm, but sunny, which is enough for now. I really can't wait for spring, even though it's only February. My favorite memory of last year is April last year, reading in bed with Stasi listening to 10,000 Maniacs in the background while the sun came through my window. I remember feeling very peaceful and carefree that day.
In other news, it's sunny here! Not warm, but sunny, which is enough for now. I really can't wait for spring, even though it's only February. My favorite memory of last year is April last year, reading in bed with Stasi listening to 10,000 Maniacs in the background while the sun came through my window. I remember feeling very peaceful and carefree that day.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Don't You Worry There, My Honey
If any of my (two or three) readers are looking for new music to listen to, I highly recommend Ingrid Michaelson's cd "Be Okay". My mom's been listening to it nonstop, so I stole the cd from her when I went home for the three-day weekend. It's a really interesting cd, and I really like the way she uses her voice. My favorite song by far is "The Chain", which is both sweet and very musically beautiful.
Okay, I guess that I should give an update on my Valentine's Day, which was excellent, although there was no boy involved. If we recall last Valentine's Day, I was still pining over George and spent a good bit of confusing time with him that day. This day was so much better. I played laser tag with Stasi and Tobi, and I got second place out of the entire mission, which made me feel so badass. For the record, I'm probably the least badass person in the world, so it was a new and awesome feeling for me. My codename was River Tam, which added to the badassness of it. After laser tag, Stasi, Tobi, Aliina, and I opened a bottle of wine and played our own version of Apples To Apples. The nouns included every boy we've ever had a crush on, as well as nouns like "Having Nothing In Common" and "Going Out To Coffee" and "My First Kiss". It was epic. I'm definitely one of those people who love Valentine's Day even when they don't have a significant other. Actually, I think that I like it better when I don't have a significant other because I'd feel really awkward making a big deal about it if I actually had a boyfriend.
Speaking of boys, there's kind of a new one in the picture. I was kind of into S last semester, but I got distracted by K, and we all know how that turned out. Well, this took me completely by surprise, but I ended up bringing S back with me after Post-I. We ended up making out pretty heavily. Actually, we fell off the bed at one point. We went out to dinner the next night and hung out again later in the week, but I'm not sure where things are going right now. I don't feel like I have to know, which is completely different from how I felt with K. With K, I felt like we were Dating, with a capital D; everything was planned and scheduled, and we were going to end up in a relationship if we kept the pattern up. I don't think I could ever have a relationship like that, where there was no spontaneity or casual hanging-out time. Anyways, I feel so much more comfortable with S, and I guess we'll just have to wait and see how it pans out.
On another note, I finally asked Professor A if she would be my major adviser, and she said she would "with every joy and happiness!". She also told me that she thought the English major was the perfect place for me, which was the nicest thing she could have said. I've been having major doubts about the English major since taking Professor T's Renaissance Literature class last semester. I know that Professor T makes everyone feel like this, but it really damaged my confidence in my reading and writing skills. Professor A's class this semester has renewed my love of literature, and I actually enjoyed writing the first paper of the semester. There's just so much power in the written word, no matter what time period it comes from. It's hard to believe that I considered majoring in anything else because it's so obvious to me that this is what I'm passionate about.
Okay, I guess that I should give an update on my Valentine's Day, which was excellent, although there was no boy involved. If we recall last Valentine's Day, I was still pining over George and spent a good bit of confusing time with him that day. This day was so much better. I played laser tag with Stasi and Tobi, and I got second place out of the entire mission, which made me feel so badass. For the record, I'm probably the least badass person in the world, so it was a new and awesome feeling for me. My codename was River Tam, which added to the badassness of it. After laser tag, Stasi, Tobi, Aliina, and I opened a bottle of wine and played our own version of Apples To Apples. The nouns included every boy we've ever had a crush on, as well as nouns like "Having Nothing In Common" and "Going Out To Coffee" and "My First Kiss". It was epic. I'm definitely one of those people who love Valentine's Day even when they don't have a significant other. Actually, I think that I like it better when I don't have a significant other because I'd feel really awkward making a big deal about it if I actually had a boyfriend.
Speaking of boys, there's kind of a new one in the picture. I was kind of into S last semester, but I got distracted by K, and we all know how that turned out. Well, this took me completely by surprise, but I ended up bringing S back with me after Post-I. We ended up making out pretty heavily. Actually, we fell off the bed at one point. We went out to dinner the next night and hung out again later in the week, but I'm not sure where things are going right now. I don't feel like I have to know, which is completely different from how I felt with K. With K, I felt like we were Dating, with a capital D; everything was planned and scheduled, and we were going to end up in a relationship if we kept the pattern up. I don't think I could ever have a relationship like that, where there was no spontaneity or casual hanging-out time. Anyways, I feel so much more comfortable with S, and I guess we'll just have to wait and see how it pans out.
On another note, I finally asked Professor A if she would be my major adviser, and she said she would "with every joy and happiness!". She also told me that she thought the English major was the perfect place for me, which was the nicest thing she could have said. I've been having major doubts about the English major since taking Professor T's Renaissance Literature class last semester. I know that Professor T makes everyone feel like this, but it really damaged my confidence in my reading and writing skills. Professor A's class this semester has renewed my love of literature, and I actually enjoyed writing the first paper of the semester. There's just so much power in the written word, no matter what time period it comes from. It's hard to believe that I considered majoring in anything else because it's so obvious to me that this is what I'm passionate about.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Fleshy, Tasty Meanings
I don't think I've ever enjoyed writing a paper this much. Seriously, I think the last time I really had fun writing an essay was back in high school. Not only am I finding it intellectually stimulating to write the paper, I'm also very happy with the company I have. I've been sitting in M's room for the past 5 hours (minus a 45 minute trip to the gym) because we're both writing papers for the same class. I'm taking as long as I normally do to write papers (okay, maybe a little longer), but it's been five times more fun because I'm not so worried about time (if M's not finished, I don't need to be either!), and because M and I have such a great shared sense of humor. I think one of the reasons I dislike writing papers is that I dislike being by myself for too long, and I generally organize my thoughts by discussing them with someone else. When I'm here with M, neither of those are an issue because I can run ideas by her at any point or make random comments for socialization. Also, M is going to have one of her papers published in a literary journal, so I appreciate any critiques she can give me.
Well, I think I'm starting to not make sense, so I should probably go finish the last page and a half of my essay before it gets too late. I still have to make a collage on a champagne bottle for my dot's post-I gift!
A QUOTE FROM M'S PAPER:
"The meat is the fleshy, tasty, more enjoyable level of meaning that is not quite the heart!"
A CONVERSATION:
M: I'm arguing that the buttons represent punctuation.
Me: Because they're round and small like periods?
M: No! Well, yes, but no!
Well, I think I'm starting to not make sense, so I should probably go finish the last page and a half of my essay before it gets too late. I still have to make a collage on a champagne bottle for my dot's post-I gift!
A QUOTE FROM M'S PAPER:
"The meat is the fleshy, tasty, more enjoyable level of meaning that is not quite the heart!"
A CONVERSATION:
M: I'm arguing that the buttons represent punctuation.
Me: Because they're round and small like periods?
M: No! Well, yes, but no!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Of Sushi And Cake
I've decided that California rolls and German chocolate cake can cure any problems, and they definitely trump writing a paper. Any day.
While studying for our chem quiz earlier this evening, Stasi and I both admitted to craving sushi ALL WEEK and made a spontaneous run to Safeway. I think it was the best sushi I've ever had, even though it was the pre-packaged stuff that nearly every grocery store carries. Then Stasi pulled out a bottle of Bailey's and some German chocolate cake, and we had a little bit of both (we went easy on the Bailey's on account of having 9am classes tomorrow). It was delicious.
It solved all my problems. Honestly, I was feeling a little guilty because I broke up with K yesterday. I use the term "broke up" loosely because we weren't officially a couple. He knew it was coming. In fact, the first thing he said when we met for coffee was "I fucked up, didn't I?". I wish him the best, but honestly, I wasn't really feeling more-than-friend chemistry with him, so I'm glad I ended things. I probably would have ended it even if he hadn't weirded me out with the kissing revelation.
All in all, life is good. More importantly, sushi is good.
While studying for our chem quiz earlier this evening, Stasi and I both admitted to craving sushi ALL WEEK and made a spontaneous run to Safeway. I think it was the best sushi I've ever had, even though it was the pre-packaged stuff that nearly every grocery store carries. Then Stasi pulled out a bottle of Bailey's and some German chocolate cake, and we had a little bit of both (we went easy on the Bailey's on account of having 9am classes tomorrow). It was delicious.
It solved all my problems. Honestly, I was feeling a little guilty because I broke up with K yesterday. I use the term "broke up" loosely because we weren't officially a couple. He knew it was coming. In fact, the first thing he said when we met for coffee was "I fucked up, didn't I?". I wish him the best, but honestly, I wasn't really feeling more-than-friend chemistry with him, so I'm glad I ended things. I probably would have ended it even if he hadn't weirded me out with the kissing revelation.
All in all, life is good. More importantly, sushi is good.
Monday, February 2, 2009
How To Lose A Guy In Three Days
I guarantee you that you've never experienced a date like the one I experienced last night. In fact, I'm still a little in shock, although I'm definitely laughing about it already.
I called K around 7:30, and he came over to watch Ocean's 13 with me (side note: I could have sworn I never saw Ocean's 13, but apparently I did, at some point). It was fun, and we cuddled, which was nice but not earth-shattering. When the movie was over, I walked him to the door and kissed him goodnight. HERE COMES THE WEIRD PART. Right after I kissed him, he pulled away and told me that he doesn't like kissing. He said, and I quote, "Lip stuff is weird". Apparently, he wants to date me, but not kiss me. EVER. I'm not so sure I'm okay with this. In fact, it's kind of a deal-breaker for me because I think it's really important to feel comfortable physically with someone you're in a relationship with. Honestly, if he doesn't enjoy kissing, then it's probably because I'm not the right girl for him. And he's definitely not the right guy for me because I want a boy who will actually kiss me. There's really no point in dating him if all we're ever going to do is hold hands and cuddle; I have my girl friends for that. I am such a physical, touchy-feely kind of girl that I would hate being in a relationship that didn't include kissing and being affectionate in physical ways.
Unfortunately, K seems to be under the impression that we're still going to date. I did tell him that it was okay that he doesn't want to kiss, and that I would call him, but I really just needed time to process and decide what to do. He texted me and asked if I want to watch a movie with him tomorrow (another side note: he also seems to be under the impression that he gets first dibs on my free time now), but I told him I didn't have time for a movie. We're going to get coffee instead, and I will inform him (gently) that I think we should just be friends. I imagine that he'll be a little confused, but I honestly think that if you tell a girl you don't want to kiss, you have to expect that she might not want to date you anymore.
That about sums up my love life right now. Yep.
I called K around 7:30, and he came over to watch Ocean's 13 with me (side note: I could have sworn I never saw Ocean's 13, but apparently I did, at some point). It was fun, and we cuddled, which was nice but not earth-shattering. When the movie was over, I walked him to the door and kissed him goodnight. HERE COMES THE WEIRD PART. Right after I kissed him, he pulled away and told me that he doesn't like kissing. He said, and I quote, "Lip stuff is weird". Apparently, he wants to date me, but not kiss me. EVER. I'm not so sure I'm okay with this. In fact, it's kind of a deal-breaker for me because I think it's really important to feel comfortable physically with someone you're in a relationship with. Honestly, if he doesn't enjoy kissing, then it's probably because I'm not the right girl for him. And he's definitely not the right guy for me because I want a boy who will actually kiss me. There's really no point in dating him if all we're ever going to do is hold hands and cuddle; I have my girl friends for that. I am such a physical, touchy-feely kind of girl that I would hate being in a relationship that didn't include kissing and being affectionate in physical ways.
Unfortunately, K seems to be under the impression that we're still going to date. I did tell him that it was okay that he doesn't want to kiss, and that I would call him, but I really just needed time to process and decide what to do. He texted me and asked if I want to watch a movie with him tomorrow (another side note: he also seems to be under the impression that he gets first dibs on my free time now), but I told him I didn't have time for a movie. We're going to get coffee instead, and I will inform him (gently) that I think we should just be friends. I imagine that he'll be a little confused, but I honestly think that if you tell a girl you don't want to kiss, you have to expect that she might not want to date you anymore.
That about sums up my love life right now. Yep.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
I-Week
Okay, I'd like to give a short update on this past week before I head off to brunch.
This week was initiation, so my life was eaten by Theta all week. When I wasn't being consumed by Theta, I was reading The Temptation of the Night Jasmine, and going to classes. I guess I should start with Wednesday, because that's when things got interesting.
Wednesday: During Chem lab, K texted me and asked if I wanted to watch Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon with him and his film class that evening. That felt really couple-y, especially because he had his arm around me the entire time. Honestly, I was a little freaked out because it felt like declaring coupledom, which I'm not sure I'm ready for. Actually, I really questioned whether or not I actually like K, or if I'm just looking for a boyfriend. I'm still asking myself this. After the movie, I was glad to have the excuse of initiation stuff to leave quickly. Aspiration Night was really fun, although we sat in a small room full of nail-polish fumes for about two hours. Also, I painted my nails black (our colors are black and gold), which I once swore never to do.
Thursday: Thursday night was awesome! I got very little sleep, because I went to bed at 2am and then got up at 6 am to take my dot to breakfast at a nearby restaurant. Needless to say, I was pretty much useless on Friday.
Friday: Not much to say, honestly. Love and Loyalty Night was long and kind of boring. At least there was cake. I like cake. I went to the Sig Post-I party and was hella groped by this one guy I danced with. I also had an awkward encounter with TM where I was leaving and he followed me out of the house to ask why. I decided to return to the party later, and he gave me a confused look when he saw me back again.
Saturday: Initiation! I love all the creepy, ritualistic stuff we do! I really liked being on this side of initiation, even though it took forever and was hot as hell in the room. It was a really nice time to bond with all my Theta friends because it's hard to get everyone in the same room at one time. After initiation, Alie and I celebrated with a bottle of champagne in my room, and then we went out to the German house, a bollywood dance party at the ASH, and the Sig house, where we hung out in the Sig kitchen for at least an hour with P.
Sunday: This deserves its own post because it has to do with K and why I decided I can't date him anymore.
In closing, from urbandictionary.com:
kthxbi definition:
I understand. Your help in this matter has been greatly appreciated. However, with much regret and much haste, I must be departing from our conversation. Example:
newb2342: da partiez @ 4, b there!!1
lolz3r: kthxbi!!!!11
This week was initiation, so my life was eaten by Theta all week. When I wasn't being consumed by Theta, I was reading The Temptation of the Night Jasmine, and going to classes. I guess I should start with Wednesday, because that's when things got interesting.
Wednesday: During Chem lab, K texted me and asked if I wanted to watch Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon with him and his film class that evening. That felt really couple-y, especially because he had his arm around me the entire time. Honestly, I was a little freaked out because it felt like declaring coupledom, which I'm not sure I'm ready for. Actually, I really questioned whether or not I actually like K, or if I'm just looking for a boyfriend. I'm still asking myself this. After the movie, I was glad to have the excuse of initiation stuff to leave quickly. Aspiration Night was really fun, although we sat in a small room full of nail-polish fumes for about two hours. Also, I painted my nails black (our colors are black and gold), which I once swore never to do.
Thursday: Thursday night was awesome! I got very little sleep, because I went to bed at 2am and then got up at 6 am to take my dot to breakfast at a nearby restaurant. Needless to say, I was pretty much useless on Friday.
Friday: Not much to say, honestly. Love and Loyalty Night was long and kind of boring. At least there was cake. I like cake. I went to the Sig Post-I party and was hella groped by this one guy I danced with. I also had an awkward encounter with TM where I was leaving and he followed me out of the house to ask why. I decided to return to the party later, and he gave me a confused look when he saw me back again.
Saturday: Initiation! I love all the creepy, ritualistic stuff we do! I really liked being on this side of initiation, even though it took forever and was hot as hell in the room. It was a really nice time to bond with all my Theta friends because it's hard to get everyone in the same room at one time. After initiation, Alie and I celebrated with a bottle of champagne in my room, and then we went out to the German house, a bollywood dance party at the ASH, and the Sig house, where we hung out in the Sig kitchen for at least an hour with P.
Sunday: This deserves its own post because it has to do with K and why I decided I can't date him anymore.
In closing, from urbandictionary.com:
kthxbi definition:
I understand. Your help in this matter has been greatly appreciated. However, with much regret and much haste, I must be departing from our conversation. Example:
newb2342: da partiez @ 4, b there!!1
lolz3r: kthxbi!!!!11
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
Posts
